Thursday, May 7, 2009

Yet another health scare...

I won't know for sure what the deal is until Saturday, and frankly I'm terrified.
I went to a doctor's appointment this morning, and got a second opinion to go to a neurologist. This I was not expecting to hear. I have balance problems and dizziness, but I had just chalked it up to my sinuses.

I'm hoping when I get my CAT scan on Saturday that nothing is found. I've got enough on my plate to worry about without being diagnosed with yet another illness. It would also devastate my father. I don't want to give him news like that, not after how we lost Mom. I'm not sure how my sister would feel if it turns out to be something serious. I think if something were to happen to me, she'd probably feel like a weight had been lifted. She values my help, but sometimes I get the feeling that because of how different our personalities are, that I'm too much for her to handle sometimes.

If I do turn out to have something seriously wrong, I have no choice, but to accept it and get through it the best I can, without becoming a burden to anyone. I've always been afraid of that. That and losing my mobility and independence. I couldn't imagine living like that. I have beneficiaries for certain things, but I wonder how much it would cost to get the rest of my affairs in order... I'll have to look into that.

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