MJJ Dateline

Ok, I'm going no holds barred here.

MJ and his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father-Anyone with two eyes and a heart already knew most of what was disclosed. The bit that Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, played reminds me of the portion of Oprah Winfrey's interview where she asks Michael Jackson about Joseph (I never understood why they called their dad by his first name either...). Oprah at least had a line that she wouldn't cross. I think the part that Oprah wouldn't air of the previously unreleased footage, was Michael telling her about what he and Janet said. Only, it appears that the Rabbi didn't stop to weigh how Janet or Joseph would have felt about Michael's confession.

Misogynist?...No...at least not your "typical" misogynist...Not when I think about how he felt about his mom. Not when I think about his relationships with Latoya and Janet (although the dynamics of each are different. I'm not sure how close he was or wasn't with Maureen/Rebbie.).
Then, there's the other more subversive stuff...he mentions wanting to have slumber parties when he was a kid...Did/do little boys have slumber parties? I always associated them more with little girls...There's his thoughts on women's perfume versus men's cologne...The way he used hair pins to keep his hair the way he wanted it (Check out the behind the scenes footage of the Thriller cover shoot.)...No, there was a little too much going on with him to simply label him as a misogynist or a womanizer.


Aging... I could relate to this fear...I'm sure a lot of people can...The bizarre thing is I couldn't see him as an old man any more than he could see himself as an old man...I'm not saying I'm happy he's gone, not by a long shot...It's a double-edged sword...

His self-awareness...I love that he was hip to the fact that both men and women found him attractive. It's odd that he could have such low self-esteem at the same time, but still, I think that's wild...I didn't think it was possible for him to be as oblivious as he appeared at times, and I was right...

I'm wondering how much of it was conscious...I remember watching some rock documentary on Vh-1 and this dude in a glam band was talking about how men in makeup draw chicks for some reason...I can only speak for myself, but there's definitely some truth to that. Were someone to ask me why I was drawn to that, I couldn't give a straight answer though...Again, there's much food for thought here...

What he said about "they" not liking for White women to scream and cry over a Black man...This reminds me of a number of things. It reminds me of Michael telling Oprah that he's proud to be a Black man. As colorblind as Michael was, he couldn't be a Black man in America, and completely forget about race, there was just no way... He also couldn't be a Black man where he was in the entertainment industry and not know he was breaking taboos. So, I definitely don't think he had his head in the clouds as much as people might have believed or as much as there were some things that he definitely wanted to block out or escape...

The lizard and frog thing...I wish I knew where this came from...What was this thing with amphibians and reptiles anyway? Did someone tease him like/about this too? Or was this something that came from Michael's own perception of himself? I wish he hadn't felt that way about himself...There are times when you'd never know he felt that way and then there are others where he may as well be screaming it. To be deadly honest, I never saw him that way...the closest he came to me, to how he saw himself, was the way he looked at the MSG 30th. I thought those little LJN Michael Jackson dolls didn't do him justice (and yet, I still had to have one, because I couldn't imagine being without one.), to me, they looked more like a lizard than he ever did to me.

The "froggy voice"...I can't remember where I read/heard it, but I heard that Michael referred to the voice that he sang the song "You Can't Win" in the Wiz in as his "froggy voice". I liked how he sang the song...


Madonna...For some reason this portion of the program made me laugh a little. As powerful as their personalities were and as in control as they both liked to be, no one could have thought there would be no clashing there. They could never have been a real, healthy couple, because everything would have been a power play. That's unhealthy enough with no cameras, but to have it played out in the public eye? No, they were better off either just as "friends" or apart.

I could also hear her saying that about Disneyland in just that way too.

He seemed both hurt and ticked off.

The suggestion about the S&M books...I wonder if she misinterpreted his belts and braces and whatnot and it ticked him off/hurt him. He seemed so fragile about certain things...

He was quite adamant about not wanting to go see strippers with her...I can't remember if it's in Moonwalk, but I remember Michael mentioning seeing strippers in between acts when they'd be performing in clubs when they were little kids...I hope there's not a story there, because I think enough damage was done to him without that being added to it.

The mannequins...I remember these from back in Michael's Thriller days. I didn't think he was weird for that then, and I certainly don't now. I collect dolls, one of my favorites that I have is an 18-inch animatronic Edward Scissorhands. My favorite episode of the TV series Amazing Stories, was an episode that Richard Matheson wrote called "The Doll". I love all the little doll themed Twilight Zone episodes. A doll is a hop, skip, and a jump from a mannequin. Do I understand that type of loneliness? Yeah, I do...I think that's why I began to retreat from him, some of Michael's pain, I understood a little too well. I guess that's why his death hit me way harder than I thought it would...